Anal play is so taboo for many reasons, here’s a few to think about; this area of the body is considered dirty because it involves the anus or only gay men have anal sex. If someone had a bad experience they're unlikely to go back for more and, then there’s the fact that it has been illegal (and still is in some places, crazy huh?) for centuries as a way of controlling gay sex. That last fact alone has filtered down through society’s conscience making anal play so taboo. Some people, however, enjoy anal pleasure because it’s so taboo.
Believe it or not, porn is actually helping break this taboo and peak curiosity about anal play, it’s one of the most searched forms of sex, right up there with lesbian sex. Unfortunately, anal play is not portrayed in a realistic way in porn, nothing ever is.
So how do you breakdown shame and embrace the pleasure of your butt? Through embodied connection to your body, pleasure rewires shame. Learning how your anus works, exploring touch that feels good and if you’re really brave, sharing the journey with someone you trust.
Just to be really clear, anal play doesn't have to be penetrative, there is much deliciousness to be enjoyed externally.
Learning about the health benefits of anal play and how the anus works is empowering. The vagus nerve influences the autonomic nervous system and is connected to being highly emotional and in fight/flight mode. This wandering nerve travels around the digestive system, via the anal sphincters it can relax the entire body. A vibrating anal butt plug is a great stress reliever and something you can do alone.
An essential ingredient to any anal play is building safety and trust to hear what your body is or is not up for. There is never meant to be pain, if there’s pain, back off or stop immediately. If you’re not sure, stay with the sensation and then decide. Sometimes sensations morph into pleasure, that’s where curiosity comes in. Ways to expand our sexual self is through exploration, new pleasures discovered can then be included regularly into your sex life.
For women, anal sex can feel especially good. The wall between the vagina and the anus is thin, the g-spot and engorged clitoris can be stimulated through anal penetration too.
The truth about anal play, when done slowly, with patience and great communication, it will be utterly pleasurable. It's worth investing time to learn how to have pleasurable anal play for both women and men, besides being incredibly enjoyable, it does wonders for the nervous system. If you’re keen to get started, check out my blog 10 Great Tips for Anal Play.
I invite you to explore your own anus, breaking down the taboo to explore, embrace and delight even in the pleasures your wonderful body can give you.