Getting what you want during sex is all about communication. It’s a fact, we are all wonderfully unique and getting what we want during sex requires a bit of communicating, this may include moving through some potentially awkward conversations. Thank you shame, thank you embarrassment for making something so natural and pleasurable so challenging. Bring on a world of sexual freedom with open communication!
I will say, communicating your needs is worth all the effort. Great sex is sooooooo good for both you and your partner! It is through vulnerability that true intimacy grows and your sexual experiences just keep getting better.
To get the conversation started, here are some verbal tips. I’ve also included non-verbal tips in case the words are clunky to start with. Building confidence takes practice.
Have a straight up chat outside the bedroom. It may be over breakfast or a vino, either way, do it away from your sexy time and place. This may include sharing fantasies or how and where you like to be touched.
During sex you could give some guided encouragement using as little words as possible such as “a bit to the left/right, up/down a bit, harder/softer, can you do that in circles”. Most partners are grateful for directions.
Try moving their hand where you want it. They may not know you enjoy having your butt grabbed.
Show them how you like it – witnessing each other masturbating is great for this.
Show them your anatomy. Every woman may have a clitoris, but no two clitorises are the same 😉
It’s good to remember your partner wants you to have a great time too, communicating about sex takes the guess work out of it for you both.